The month of June through my iPhone - of skies, cityscape and happiness.

Older: May 2013 | Newer: July 2013

I remember June a little too clearly. It was a curious mix of anxiousness and anticipation for what was to come, and weeks of busying myself with shoots while nightmarish scenes stay all-too-vivid in my mind. This is one reason why I never like horror movies. I tend to remind myself of things I don't want to remember, and I can't seem to shake them off even if I wanted to. I coax myself over and over to forget the harsh days, telling myself that I can finally start life afresh. Just like how the skies cleared up for July, this would truly be a new beginning.

***

In the first few hours of June, I rushed to add finishing touches to the materials I'd prepared for my first ever workshop in the living room. A white butterfly had mysteriously fluttered in through the window and around me, ousting me from my study. At this hour and height of my apartment? I wondered what that meant, because surely it had to mean something. Well, everything has a meaning. I googled to learn that white butterflies can symbolize a number of things but I chose not to believe in any of them at that point. Looking back at how the month turned out, perhaps the closest interpretation would be rebirth, some sort of important change or transformation that was going to happen in my life. Metamorphosis, they say.

Funny how this should happen on the same day I would be giving a workshop for Montage who also had the theme 'Metamorphosis' for their photography competition. A coincidence maybe? I turned my attention to quickly finish my task at hand, excited for morning to come.

In the morning, my stomach was laced with butterflies. This year I was privileged to be chosen as one of the workshop instructors for Montage, an annual flagship affair held by the Photographic Society of NUS, alongside Melvin Lau from Multifolds and Lionel Lin from Fotosynthesis. I gave two three-hour sessions at the Canon Imaging Academy on "Fashion Photography using Natural Light" and the turnout genuinely surprised me. It was wonderful being able to share my knowledge with like-minded beings, people who love photography as much as I do.

Melvin gave a talk on Wedding Photography the following day, and it was refreshing seeing familiar faces and learning how he captures the rawest of emotions from the couples he photographs. I am grateful to the team from NUSPS for such a great opportunity and towards everyone who had signed up for the workshop. The whole experience has been nothing short of amazing, and I hope to do something similar in the near future.





It has already been weeks after our trip to Malaysia, but Drea's influence on my sleeping patterns still sticks with me. She sleeps and wakes early, making the fullest out of the daylight. When we were in Malaysia we would wake at sunrise, sometimes even before. This month, I find myself sleeping before midnight and waking before 8am most times, something rare for a night owl like myself.

For once, it felt good rising along with the sun. As I lay on my bed I would watch the golden rays fight the curtains that block its path, and every now and then I would lift the fabric so that I was temporarily bathed in the morning light. This warmth on my skin recharges my soul, and it made me readier for the day ahead. On days like these, I would sit on the couch with my iPad in one hand and a mug of hot tea in the other, basking in the silence that fills the room. Morning readings have never been any better.

Some days when we have shoots to go for in the morning, I would stay the night at Drea's where I sleep in a cosy corner of my own. It comforts me that Blondie (her cat) sometimes watches over me as I rest. One morning as we prepared to leave the house, she amused me by dipping her paw in my cup of water, before diving head-in to drink from it. My catship with Blondie has affirmed my liking for her kind; cool and independent creatures that I can identify with.





As I write about Blondie, I am reminded of dear Siri whom I dearly miss. I have so much love for this little cutie that no words can ever describe. It breaks my heart that I will no longer be able to see him because I have given up my right to do so. A few nights ago I dreamt of him, that he came to look for me. I wish he did, and I wish he could. I will always remember the last moments I had with you roaming the field and running towards me as we played catching. I miss you, my little bundle of joy.

Somewhere in the second week of June, I let myself go through an experience that is hard to forgive myself for. The night ended painfully, and it is difficult to even recount what happened. I cried long and hard in the morning, in the arms of my friends (N and A) as my they rushed to my rescue after I sent an SOS. We headed to N's place after breakfast, and I laid curled up in her bed, sick and exhausted from the night. Well, at least this time it would finally be a clean end to things.





To completely move on and forget about what happened would have been impossible at that point of time, and sometimes it still is. Some nights I have nightmares and flashbacks of what happened that night, and some days I would struggle to keep my anger out as his harsh words repeatedly echo at the back of my head. Despite all that, I give thanks more than anything. Getting out was something I'd so desperately wished and worked for, and there was now no more reason to be sad or angry over someone undeservingly so. I waste no time getting life back on track, and I became happier, healthier and busier (in a good way).








My personal crisis may have ended, but my country was now filled with acrid smoke that was blown over from uncontrollable forest fires. The PSI shot up to a record high of over 400, and buildings slowly disappeared from sight. I wondered to myself if Siri was doing ok.

If there was any positive thing about the terrible haze, it would be the amazing sunrises and sunsets that we experienced in that entire week. The skies were a canvas of evenly painted orange, and I would often stop and marvel at how beautiful it all looked. Since we were now driven indoors, it was a perfect time to make new friends and bond with my favourite bunch of people over a home cooked meal and a late night movie marathon.








The end of June approached quickly, and the haze slowly cleared away. Beautiful sun rays threatened to burst through clouds that have stolen their glory over the past week. Now that the skies were clear, shoots resumed and I spent the last week meeting old friends and having a quiet celebration for the second anniversary of beautifuladieu.





This month I hit a trough that has hurt me beyond measure. My phone was also smashed in the process of that rough night (and my camera has never been the same since, but I'll continue with mediocre iPhoneography till I get a new iPhone!). But you know that when you can't get any lower, the only way to go is up. And with that in mind, I welcomed the month of July with open arms.

Older: May 2013 | Newer: July 2013

Labels: iphoneography, personal

Models: Denise & Anmari
Wardrobe: Runway Bandits
Photographer: Amanda Wong
Equipment: 5DMII + 85mm f/1.2L + 50mm f/1.4
Flickr: runway bandits lookbook iii

Hey... it's already September. Where did time go?

Here's a quick update with a small collection of images I shot for Runway Bandits back in June, featuring these two Eurasian beauties, and again experimenting with film colors. I'm so sorry I took so long to put these up; I've been sidetracked for far too long.

Andrea and I just came back from Paris last week and we (mostly me) are still recovering from the jet lag but thankfully it's getting better by the day! There's way too many images to work on and hardly any space left on my computer to work on them smoothly. I've been doing the same things over and over that I don't feel as creatively inspired as I used to. I've been too confined, too stuck in my little comfort zone - and I'm thinking perhaps a little diversity might do the trick.

I just want you all to know that just because I don't ever say 'the bad stuff' on my blog, doesn't mean that life is perfect. I'm just like anyone else - I have bad days in between the good. But please, don't ever give up on me. I won't ever stop shooting, not now at least. I promise I will stay true to what I want and I will keep creating till my heart aches with so much love. Thank you for being so patient and for still following me and the blog despite the lack of updates. I love you all. <3

Labels: fashion

Photos by me, Wilson & Melvin

Life's a little weird, and we're a little weird.
But that's ok, because weird's all I've got.

Le android and I on a hazy Wednesday in June at a back alley after a mini photographers' meet up/lunch.
An afternoon of headstands, jumping off walls, somersaults, running around, being weird... and weirder.

I can't express how much love I have for Wilson (as a very good friend) who constantly inspires me in every part of life. He's someone I've been most privileged to meet since I joined the local community of photographers. He captures the most wonderful photos, and if you haven't seen his work, you're missing out! I'm so thrilled that he's in Europe right now, creating some of the best adventures for himself and I can't wait to hear more stories he brings back from his travels... It always reminds me to live life the way he does. Follow him on his Instagram @androidsinboots if you want peeks of his travelogue and life!

Meanwhile, Andrea (whom I've been shooting regularly with) and I are going to Paris next Thursday! Planning has been a little difficult since it'll be both our first time there, so if you have any particular places you think we should visit, please leave a comment or send an email our way. :)

School is about to start and everything's just going to be a little more hectic. I'm so bad at updating my social media regularly (partly because of my schedule and I procrastinate on blogging a lot haha) but I promise to finish up June diaries as soon as I can.

Ahhhh, how time flies now that I realise it's already mid August! Stay gold, everyone xx

P.S. Happy birthday to my daddy! I love you and miss you! <3

Labels: personal

The month of May through my iPhone - of food, travel, birthdays and change.

Older: April 2013 | Newer: June 2013

It is July and I am in my dad's apartment in Bangkok as I type this entry. I can barely recall the finer details of sweet May, but I remember a month of catching up with friends I haven't been able to, enjoying fine food, taking lots of photos, finding reasons to celebrate anything at all, drunk nights, speaking my heart for once, and taking the first steps to freeing myself.

May has been and always will be my favourite month. It is a month of happiness and celebration, a month I always look forward to. I had my first couple shoot with two very photogenic Geminian couples and I love them for the happiness and warmth they radiate around each other. I've been hesitant on offering couple photoshoots, and I'll be honest that it may be my view on love that has shaped my thoughts on this. But maybe all that will change very soon.

In the second week of May, several of my relatives and I organised a surprise Mothers' day brunch at NYDC, and even though not everyone was present, it was nice to be in the company of family. I spent my younger and formative years growing up without my complete family, and I still do. In retrospect that has made me who I am today - independent and strong. It has also made me appreciate kinship so much more and I yearn to share a close relationship with a family of my own one day.







Every year, I start celebrating my birthday early even though the actual day is only towards the end of the month. One night, while drinking a bottle of wine by myself in my study, I came to the realisation that I had to finally let go of the vermin that has been suffocating me and stagnating my growth as a person. A close friend reminded me to be happy for myself and I wrote a reminder on a post-it note and stuck it on my noticeboard. Things were going to change, I knew my resolve was true this time round.

Two days later, we found ourselves sitting on a bench at twilight, with the stillness of the water around us that calmed the mess in my heart. We talked for hours, and even though there was no proper closure, I felt like a stone had been lifted from my chest. And in that moment, I knew that I was free the minute I decided I was.

In the next few days leading up to my work trip to Malaysia, I busied myself with packing, shooting, picking out outfits at the H&M showroom with Drea, and enjoying the peace I now hold in my heart.







Last year I spent the month traveling around Asia to Seoul, Hong Kong, Shen Zhen, Taipei and Bangkok. Although I did not feed my wanderlust spirit much this May, I took a week off in the middle of the month for a short work trip to Malaysia with Drea and Nerissa. We spent our days traveling and taking photos around Kuala Lumpur, Seremban and Cameron Highlands.

Our kind hosts in KL were Drea's relatives, the Chong family. They brought us out for good local food and gave us a room to sleep in their lovely home. The next day, we took a train to Seremban and a taxi up the hills for our first shoot location, The Dusun. Groggy from the medicine I took for my flu, I took a nap while the girls prepared for our shoot in the afternoon. At night, they whipped up a yummy meal from the groceries we'd bought the day before while I made myself useful by setting the table. We go through our usual routine of taking photos of our food on our phones before we tucked in to a delicious atmosphere of togetherness and home cooked food.

We stayed in the Sora House for the night, a big open-concept eco villa that was too big for the three of us. We decided to share the bigger bed in the Japanese room, under a glass ceiling that exposed the night's beauty which sparkled in the form of small, shiny stars. We talked for a short while and fell asleep quickly, tired from a day of shooting and traveling.










The next day was spent finishing up the outfits we had to shoot, before we bid Seremban goodbye and took a train back to KL. After scary encounters with the touts at the bus station and a very long bus ride up the dwindling roads of the mountains, we were finally welcomed by the cool air in Cameron Highlands. We checked into a simple hotel we'd booked two nights before and had a warm dinner over steamboat not far away from the hotel before retiring for the night. After breakfast, we packed our bags and left for The Lakehouse, some kilometers down from the peak where we were.

The Lakehouse is exactly what it promised to be - beautifully colored by flowers and gloriously sitting atop a hill overlooking a big beautiful lake. After shooting under the hot sun and a quick siesta, we finally finish the outfits at sunset. Curious by a little route that led uphill, we ventured up the path only to be astounded by the sight that greeted us. I stood there, taking it all in. The skies were blue, the clouds and reflection of the lake tinted by a hint of sunset, and the moon smiling in the evening sky. If only we had such a view in Singapore... Perhaps this is why I always feel like I have to leave one day.







Days pass quickly and it is already nearing the end of May. The girls from Thread Theory surprised me with Japanese-French goodness at Dozo the weekend I came back from Malaysia. These girls are the kindest I have ever met, and I'm blessed to have a friend in them. The rest of the week were also filled with dates with people I hold dear to my heart. I arranged for a birthday dinner with Wilson and we drank to celebrate us remaining young in our Geminian hearts; Drea and N prepared a spread of homemade dishes on the eve of my birthday, and I made friends with her cat, Blondie.









On the morning of my birthday, I laid in bed feeling blue. It feels weird turning a year older again. I don't want time to pass so quickly, yet at the same time I'm excited for what the future may bring. I know that at least, I'll always be young at heart.

The end of May has come, and I spend the last few hours in front of my laptop completing slides for my first ever workshop that will be held the next day - all that soon to come in June's iphoneography diaries. May has brought me so much joy and contentment and it still remains to be my favourite month of the year, and I thank everyone who has been a part of it. Thank you for growing with me.

I promise happier days ahead! x

Older: April 2013 | Newer: June 2013

Labels: iphoneography, personal

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